Ever since I was younger...I could see my future in my dreams,
very little things I saw, came true though.

But, I've been having repeated dreams of me...smoking,
and I would be smoking with my Dad.

It's sad once you think of it for bit because, a long time ago my sister started smoking and for one reason...as soon as Dad stops she will stop too.

Now, they're both trapped in they're own addiction,
and it kills me every single day to see them putting that shit,
into they're lungs and killing them selves without a second thought.

It kills me even more to think...my Dad can't even stop himself from smoking knowing his oldest daughter started because of him.

Everyday...I just wait...wait for that one day, where someone will call me and tell me, "Madison...your Dad is in the hospital and has been diagnosed with cancer."

His Dad died of cancer, his mom is in remission right now, and he keeps ignoring his breathing patterns along with his coughing.

I'm just so afraid...because I know whats going to happen if he doesn't stop, he knows what's going to happen to his mom if they don't stop now.

They're too addicted to stop, and my Dad is too weak to stop for his oldest daughter who's addicted now too.

He just doesn't care...he doesn't care if his own two daughters *me and amie* get breathing problems, just so long he has his stress reliving puff.

It will totally kill me if he ends up dying from something he could've stopped himself, but what am I saying...he already dying from each puff he takes.